ads without products

Archive for May 5th, 2010

another prayer

with 13 comments

Grant me to accept, with requisite disdain and without anxiety, the inferior yet successful works of others.

For the world is full of successful books that I am glad I neither wrote nor read.

Let me not follow them unto that tomb of google monitoring and the endless fulfillment of empty requests.

For I would feel shallow, and I know that that is what I like least of all.

Teach me to work in the blind, having read and written and rewritten until right – and even before that, having thought and thought again until ready.

For the undercooked is no more kosher than the stupid.

Allow me not to fall into the perversion of easy fulfillment.

For what is easy is, as the saying says, not all that worth it.

Allow me to choose to be right rather than popular, full rather than ready, worked rather than underfed and without an actual argument.

For underfeeding and hurry starves thought, and thought is all there is.

Let me get this sentence right, and then the next one, rather than worrying about schedules and word-counts.

For I have read the hurried books, and I remain glad that I did not write them – a deep subjective crisis would ensue.

Grant me not to write at speed, whatever the others are doing.

For writing at speed is the enemy of both argument and real pertinence – edible only by the stupid, and this is not my demographic.

Written by adswithoutproducts

May 5, 2010 at 11:20 pm

expatriangst

with one comment

Every once in awhile, a flash of it: Time to go the fuck home. Semi-random times it comes, tonight on the stupid bus from Finsbury Park. For the familiar groceries and pizza, for the Yankees game on at an appropriate hour, for the New York Times not disguised and shortened as the International Herald Tribune. But mostly, honestly, it’s for people that I understand implicitly.

Someone was joking today about having no Gaydar. I said, yeah, that’s because you’re British, but what I really wanted to say is Imagine feeling that way all the time and not just about sexuality. I am an intuitive, empathetic guy, but that all goes wrong when stationed in a seductively similar place like London.

There’s always the job-list in September, especially if my book gets taken up by the Prestigious Press. Mid-June. We’ll see. I might not say, but you’ll be able to tell.

There’s always a post like this, which will truly have to be deleted when I go post-pseudonymous.

Written by adswithoutproducts

May 5, 2010 at 7:21 pm

Posted in america